Hello motherhood

Hello motherhood
Ah..where do I begin. Am a mother.

I remember at the beginning of 2019 I made a prayer to God that I desired to have testimonies at the end of the year and as I write this, I am overwhelmed by the faithfulness of God. I can’t write of all the miracles i experienced in 2019 but the greatest of all is the birth of our son Aziel (which means God is my strength).

I had known and bonded with my son while he was in the womb but meeting him for the first time was the most emotional, joyful and greatest experience of a life time. It was awesome.

And now he is out here in the world. He breaths on his own, he feeds on his own, well, not entirely and he’s a full person. And when I look at his tiny little arms and legs that used to give me rib jabs back in the womb , I can’t hide my joy and my gratitude to the most high God.

Am a first time mom, I have never handled a newborn. I had no experience whatsoever on how to bathe him, dress him and generally take care of him. I felt confused and at the same time overwhelmed with joy when the nurse handed the baby to me and told me to breastfeed. That was a struggle on its own, maybe I will write about it sometime.

As we left the hospital I dreaded getting home. I would be alone, of course with my ever supportive hubby. At least at the hospital I was not alone. There were nurses and doctors and we would call them in case of an issue. My time at the hospital was a bit easy coz the nursing care was good. The nurses were so helpful and kind too, contrary to my expectation. They could pick up the baby for me if he cried too much and calmed him, they could feed him with formula especially the first two days coz my breast milk had not started flowing. They could also pick him up and bathe him and change his diapers.

It felt somehow great knowing that when the baby cries there’s someone around who knew what could be probably wrong with the baby. I remember this one time when the baby was crying and I tried feeding him and he couldn’t stop crying, I tried walking around as I rocked him but he still couldn’t keep quiet, I tried everything and nothing worked, and this nurse told me to change his diaper and wallah, he was quiet. I mean, how was I supposed to know that. Anyway, it’s been 2 months and I can say I am somewhere now.

There were other moms at the hospital too and I could tell they were sharing in the same struggles as me and that gave me a sigh of relief knowing am not the only one, you know. But there was this particular lady who seemed to have it all figured out, she knew what exactly to do with her baby, can’t say much but it was her 4th child so I guess she had quiet an experience.

So we get home and the reality hits us. We are actual parents to an actual baby. Am not gonna lie, I was terrified. I severally fought tears, well I cried once but it was kinda therapeutic. We didn’t have anyone else to help us with house chores and I couldn’t do much, actually I was not allowed to do anything coz I gave birth via C-section and the wound was crazy painful so I couldn’t help even if I wanted. So my husband was doing everything from cooking to cleaning the house. He has been amazing these past few weeks, well, he has always been an amazing husband.

Now as the days pass, am so grateful to God for giving me the privilege to be a steward of this gift.

To every mom out there who could be struggling in any way, I pray that God will continually grace you to raise your child/ren. And know that God can’t give you what you can’t handle, so brace yourself and as we embark on this journey, the good Lord is ahead of us.

Motherhood is a beautiful journey, unique to every mom and at the same time challenging and tiresome but through all this the Lord has given us grace and strength for this season.

Peace <0

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